QUARANTINE HAS RUINED ME: Shopping Addiction Edition

Those that know me know how important clothing is to me. I think it's the clearest form of self-expression. We all have to wear clothes, why not have fun with them?

I was raised to be a frugal shopper and I pride myself on my shopping habits. I live off of finding incredible deals; getting quality items for ridiculously cheap prices. Quality over quantity always! This was my way of life...until now.

I cannot stress this enough: I Can't. Stop. Shopping.

(A visual representation of me trying to fend off all of the sales right now)

Someone tell me I'm not alone in this. There has been a big push in quarantine to support the businesses that you feel passionate about to help them ride out the closures. My thought process sounds something like, "Yes, support small businesses! Yes, shop sustainably." Both are honorable pursuits. Both are expensive.

This transitioned me into getting a Depop. I was like, "This is perfect, I'm shopping sustainably, giving clothes a second chance, putting my critical fashion eye to work." But in actuality, here I am spending slightly less (and by slightly less, I still mean too much) on shoes I've always wanted but not actually bought. BECAUSE WHEN I'M IN THE STORE I HAVE WILL POWER. Or the stores don't have exactly what I want, so I have to search, which prolongs my spending large sums of money. The internet is too vast, it has everything. I'll get more into this in a minute, buuuuuut...

While I'm mentioning Depop, I want to point out the photos I have attached to this blog post. One would assume that I would have shot the new items I have bought recently. NAY! These are the items I am SELLING on my Depop in a desperate attempt to make some of my money back.

(If you're intrigued, my shop is @nicoletteboillotat. Check me out...please.)

Now, I don't want this post to come off as "Oh poor Nicolette. She is privileged enough to have the money to be endlessly shopping"...I don't have the money to be doing this much shopping. I'm a loose canon. I'm spending my money in the wrong places. I'm making this post to hold myself accountable. This is a cry for HELP.

When I say I'm spending money in the wrong places, I don't really mean that I'm just buying useless things. Quite the contrary, my subconscious is seeing this exclusively online period as an opportunity to finally purchase all of those staples I have been holding off on. That is how I justify buying them. I'm also buying non-clothing items like makeup for the makeup series I had on Instagram a few months ago, and a tripod and ring light for self-tape auditions. So they are worthy investments (at least in my mind). But you know what I should be doing? Actually investing.

Online shopping used to be the bane of my existence. If I had to buy it online, I wasn't buying it. You see, I love shopping for ~the experience~. I always felt that you lose most of that experience when you shop online. I can't see what I am buying. I can't hold it in my hand. I can't fully assess the quality.

When I go shopping in person, I typically go with an open mind. Shopping is as much an educational experience as it is a transactional one to me. I go to the store to keep up on what the industry is producing, what trends are dominating the market, what direction each of the shops are taking their brand in. I enjoy the business of fashion, the game of clothes. It's an art form to me.

When deciding what items I will actually buy, I pick up things that catch my eye/that inspire me/that I think are a good deal. It is very infrequent that I go to the mall with one thing in mind and leave having simply picked up that one thing. It is not about function for me, it's a whole event. This sounds like a nightmare for my finances, but I am able to do this and spend very little because I have developed a critical eye for what is worth my money, what items are classic or staple pieces, what is a good deal vs. what is way overpriced, and when to buy certain items.

On the internet, all bets are off. Without the whimsical experience I just described, it is simply a transaction. I am buying something because I had it in mind. When I am looking for one thing in particular (and we aren't in a global pandemic), I have to do a lot of searching. I go to a bunch of stores and I am very critical of the items I look at. I am limited to what is there in front of me, what my local stores have in stock. These searches can sometimes take months, years even, and I get a strange sort of thrill from them? But online, the item I was looking for is right there, a few clicks away. I can purchase it in seconds and have it at my doorstep in 3-5 business days. And I hate that? The thrill is gone. So then I buy more, and I buy frequently, in an attempt to fill the void.

(Here I am, staring into said void)

This directly goes against my more minimal tendencies. Remember how I said quality over quantity? I am still buying quality items, but quality and quantity are not always mutually exclusive. I have what I like to call "owner's guilt." If I can't take stock of all of my possessions easily (like if I forget that I have things or I have things that I never use) I feel guilty and overwhelmed, bogged down by material possessions. Honestly, this is probably just a manifestation of a deeper control issue, but we don't have to get into that right now.

What this long-winded post is trying to say is: I really need to curb my spending. I can't be alone in that. I see all those posts on the internet about the need to constantly have packages to look forward to...I SEE THEM. So maybe we can all use a bit of a break?

You heard it here folks. My no-buy starts TODAY.

xx