(b)e (y)our (o)wn (b)oss - my life as a LinkedIn-fluencer

****WARNING**** This blog post is an unhinged brain dump. Imagine this as a rant I'm delivering to a friend at 2 am. I think that is the only context in which it makes any sense whatsoever. The word "rogue" kept popping up today and I found it pretty fitting regarding my mental state and this absolute shitpost.

>>>

The job hunt is driving me insane. Completely boggles my mind how anyone gets any work ever. I am starting to feel as though I have no choice but to dive fully into blogging everyday and making a shit ton of content online because working for myself is the only pathway that seems like it will eventually lead to a livable wage.

WHAT?! Why is that the career path that I can actually wrap my head around? I'm one application away from joining a twitter comedy commune. Does anyone want to see a youtube video of me writing a cover letter and eating my hair?

I have to adapt my resume and write a new cover letter for every job I apply to nowadays, just to have some semblance of seeming compatible with the job listing. If the listings themselves are shitty quality (which, SPOILERS, they always are), then WHO IS BEING PAID TO WRITE THOSE?! My cover letter is worlds better, hire me just to fix the postings for you! You can give someone else the actual job, I don't actually want any of these jobs, I just have to stay living and that requires AN INCOME.

I feel as though I've written this blog post at least two times before but OH MY LORD, WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MODERN JOB MARKET? Not enough people are talking about this.

Is anyone even seeing these applications I'm sending out? Is Indeed and LinkedIn and Glassdoor and AngelList and ZipRecruiter all just some millennial plot to keep the pool of applicants limited to only themselves? (Anyone have experience in monetizing a conspiracy theory?)

And as for those millennials with "jobs" and "zoom meetings" and "benefits" : WHERE ARE YOU GETTING WORK? WHO IS PAYING YOU? WHERE IS THE MONEY COMING FROM? IS THERE ANY COUNTRY THAT ISN'T LIKE THIS? I'm tapping out.

>>>

My mind has defaulted to playing this on loop:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbfu39l0kxg

>>>

I apply to dozens of jobs at a time, practically daily, and the crickets laughing in my inbox serve as my alarm clock each morning.

So I'm sorry that I've missed a week and half of blogging, I've been prematurely greying and turning to red pandas splaying out on tree branches for solace.

Watch me get an interview the day after this goes live.

Manifest it. MANIFEST IT.

xx

Nic